How To Maintain A Long Distance Relationship

Lifestyle

DistanceI am VERY private about my relationship. Yes I share a ton of pictures, because I like pictures and I enjoy expression, but no one knows the ‘details’ of my relationship. Not too long ago a friend asked me to blog about long distance relationships, and I thought … hmmm maybe I will give that a try. I think HD and I mastered the art of maintaining a healthy and fruitful long distance relationship; we’ve been together for 4 years and to this day, I still count down the days ’til our next visit, I still cry every time I leave him at the airport (like a baby lol … the last time we made a bet, if I didn’t cry he would buy me shoes … well, let’s just say, I didn’t get any shoes), he still gives me butterflies and we still are madly in love. ALL of the issues that most people have with long distant relationships, we never had … and I think I know why.

  • He’s My VERY BEST friend. He’s the one person in this world who knows every single thing about me. The good, the bad, and the disgustingly ugly. We have no secrets, we are open and we leave no room for judgement. Being in a long distant relationship is so different because you have to put in work. You must really get a long with the person, having common interests in order to communicate; because unlike relationships where you are near the person, you have to physically talk, and communicate to interact with each other. Since the beginning of our relationship, HD has always made sure I was the first person he talked to when he woke up, and the last person he spoke to (beside God) before he shut his eyes at night.
  • We Aren’t Selfish. I can be a very, VERY needy person; but needy and selfish are two completely different things. We both understand that we have personal goals we have set for ourselves, and we have to pursue those things in order to build our future together. I understand his hustle and his drive, and he understands mine; and we try not to steer each other on the wrong path. A plus to our relationship is we are both pursuing entrepreneurial careers, so we have a very similar lifestyles which makes understanding what the other person deals with on a daily basis a little better. In long distance relationships, you can’t be selfish because you’re pushing against two really strong forces, the person you’re with, and the distance you two have. If you’re too selfish you will only push that person away. You have to be considerate.
  • We TRUST each other. In the 4 years of being in a relationship with H, I have NEVER had a doubting thought. I have never questioned him about the people he’s around or what he’s doing. He’s never questioned me, either. WE COMPLETELY TRUST EACH OTHER. Long distance relationships aren’t for jealous or insecure people, it’s only for the BOLD at heart. I’ve always felt that people with trust issues have deep insecurities (personal opinion.) If you have trust issues, you may want to reconsider long-distance luvin.
  • We are COMMITTED. (This is my favorite) I seriously thank God for this daily, because I am so fortunate to have a man with this characteristic. We are 100% committed to our relationship and growing it. One of the best things I love about HD is that, he’s about the business of our relationship. Every single move he makes, every life phase he goes through, he takes the “we” approach and considers us and how we can grow. We, together, are the driving force of making our relationship work. Anything that may hinder that, we let go of. When we decided we wanted to be together, we committed to each other, and from that moment forward everything thing we do, we do as a unit. I consider him in everything I do … and it’s not because I feel “obligated,” but it’s because I love him so much that I want him included, and I am excited to have him apart of my journey, and vice versa. Being committed to each other is the most important part of a long distance relationship, because you have to be strong enough to carry the weight of distance.
  • We Are Creative. You have to be creative when dating long distance. There are frequent FaceTime dates, long talks all night until the sun comes up, random trips, and popup visits. I remember my Senior year of college, I had no clue when I would see H. I was taking a class where I worked for a client and would get ‘fired’ if I missed a day. I thought I wouldn’t be able to see him until the semester was over. To my surprise he had something up his sleeve, he popped up at my mother’s house (I looked a hot mess,) and surprised me with flowers and a date on one of the worst days ever. I burst in tears, and ran to him like he was Super Man coming to save me! He was only here for 48 hours … It’s one of my best memories I have. It’s all about going that extra mile for the person you love. That simple gesture meant SO much to me.
  • We See Each Other Often. It’s true, when you want to see someone you love, you will. No dollar or circumstance can amount to love. It’s funny because he and I get in these moods where we’re tired of EVERYONE in the world and we just need to see each other; we call those moments ‘recharge.’ People always ask about how much we spend on flights pointing out that we could have invested into a house by now, lol; but I know it’s not about our timing but Gods. We are exactly where we’re suppose to be right now, and we are both very spiritually connected… so when the time is right, it will happen.
  • We’re In A Spiritual Relationship. It’s one thing to be in a relationship, but it’s an entirely different ball game when you’re connected to someone’s soul. We are fueled by each other’s energy. When you’re connected to someone spiritually, you feel like it’s your duty to hold them down. It’s like, that’s what you were put here to do. That also helps with distance because you won’t grow weary when you are spiritually connected with your mate.
  • We Ignore The Noise. People always have something to say when you’re in a long distance relationship, especially if it LASTS. I’m sure I’ve been asked at least 50 times this year when are we getting married. IGNORE IT. No one knows your relationship better than you, and you don’t owe anyone anything … not even an explanation. Relationships only work on divine timing and energy connections, and divine timing and energy connections defy any stereotype of long distance relationships. Remember relationships only grow between the TWO people who are in them… so focus on the business of your relationship and ignore the opinions of those who don’t matter.

There’ s a lot more to long distance relationships, but these are the most important things I think anyone pursuing one should know. Long Distance Love does work, if you are truly connected to the person and willing to work for it. I can honestly say, this is the most amazing and beautiful relationship I’ve ever had …  I’ve grown so much in the last 4 years and HD being apart of it has everything to do with it.

Love Knows No Distance,

Triena

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6 Comments

  • Reply Devin Lewis October 14, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    This is one of your best articles to date, Maam! I love you and HD together and wish you guys endless happiness and eventually some really cute, curly haired babies, lol!

  • Reply T.S. October 14, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Amazing! This article made me think of my own relationship and what I can do to improve it. Thank you

    • Reply Triena October 14, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      It really does make you put things into perspective. We always need room for improvement. Thanks for reading

  • Reply Nikki J. November 1, 2014 at 5:24 am

    Love love love this blog!!! I shared it on my FB page

    • Reply Triena November 2, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Thank you for sharing Nikki! ☺️

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