J.deyawn Talks: What’s Your Love Language?

Lifestyle

1The most important aspect of a relationship is communication. This can be any type of relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship or just an acquaintance. Every relationship is different and serves a different purpose in each persons life. When in a relationship we often find ourselves on “different pages” with our significant other; sometimes the different page issues causes relationships to end, and end on a bad note.

In 2009, a very popular book, The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman debuted and skyrocketed to the top. To date, this book has sold over 5 million copies and has been translated into 38 languages. Evidently, “love languages” are important in communication.81HmTLp1NjL._SL1500_

If you overanalyze like me, this book will make you re-evaluate relationships as I did, both past and present. Chapman describes “love languages” as ways to communicate. You can’t communicate with someone if you’re speaking a different language. Chapman says there are only 5 love languages: Gift Giving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. There are too many points to share; here are my top three:

  • FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN LOVE LANGUAGE

We tend to have our own idea of what love means to us. To one person showing love may mean telling that person how much they mean to you or one may feel physical touch emphasizes love. Consider what love language you use the most, learn it. Here’s a link to find out what your love language is: Love Language Quiz

  • LEARN OTHER LOVE LANGUAGES

Let’s say Quality Time is your “language”, now what? Try learning your spouse’s love language or your BFF’s; incorporate it and see how if it makes the relationship better. Remember if you’re speaking the same language, your relationship is bound to be more successful.

  • KNOW THAT COMMUNICATION CANNOT EXIST EFFICIENTLY WITHOUT THE SAME LANGUAGE

If my native language is Spanish and your native language is Japanese, how could we possibly communicate? Sure, there’s visual communication like sign language and pictures, but is that the most efficient way? Why not learn other love languages enough so that you are able to identify the differences; know your partner’s love language and learn how to put the two together so that they work simultaneously.

Remember, love languages aren’t just for romantic relationships, but they will nourish any relationship. Love isn’t just about knowing what you need to be loved, but also knowing how others love.

Let’s keep this conversation going: what’s your love language? Does it positively influence your relationships or does it come across too offensively because the person you’re intimate with doesn’t speak the same language as you? Comment and share your story!

Until Next Time,

J.deyawn ( IG: @jdeyawn | Twitter: @jdeyawn )

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply thomas May 4, 2014 at 3:16 am

    So, I took the little love langauge quiz, and I guessed that my language was physcial touch and indeed it was. Looking back on past relationships that’s what I wanted most. I just wanted to be touched, we didn’t have to talk or anything, let’s just like being close. It was also easy to realize when the realtionship was taking the turn for the worst. That physical touch part started to sort of fade away and (how drake says) nothing was the same.

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